What Women Want

Women face cultural, social, and now, increasing legal barriers to equity and wellbeing. Here's what needs to change.

Image: Shutterstock/Jacob Lund

First off, I am a woman. I am also a psychologist. But I have worked low-paying jobs in the past (from fast-food joints to office work) and barely made ends meet when I was in graduate school. I was on the “mommy track” when my kids were young, working part-time while still struggling to build my career. I was fortunate to work in a field where women’s input was accepted and where flexible hours were possible.

But I know that’s not how most businesses work.

Cultural and societal barriers continue to impede women’s aspirations and accomplishments. Their success lags behind men’s in terms of access to leadership positions and equal pay. And while a benchmark of achievement, power, or financial success should never define an individual’s sense of self-worth or personal accomplishment, the discrepancy between the sexes in these roles is still striking.

In my psychology practice, I have heard countless tales of sexual harassment, coercion, and the impact of low expectations, where a woman’s input is ignored. Most women seek a collaborative, cooperative environment free from bullying and cutthroat office politics. But many have no choice — compelled to tolerate a hostile work environment so they can put food on the table.

The scope of the problem

Several ideas for addressing workplace discrimination, along with how this problem also affects men, are listed below. But first, a few facts:

Discrepancies persist at the highest level. Although women make up approximately half of the workforce, only 11% are CEOs of Fortune 500 companies. There are 26 women currently in the US senate, and only 64 women have achieved this status, ever. In academia and the arts, women’s leadership also lags behind. For example, only 36% of full professors, 18% of medical school deans, and 12.1% of film directors are women.

Unsurprisingly, women continue to earn less than men. The gender pay gap, according to the Pew Research Center, is only slightly improved, with women earning roughly 85 cents to the dollar. Reports from the Economic Policy Institute, the US Government Accountability Office and the American Association of University Women (AAUW), describe discrepancies across all workplace settings. Here are some particularly sobering data:

• There is a consistent pay gap across all industries. Some of this is associated with a “glass ceiling,” where women cannot move up the ranks. It also stems from the lower status and meager compensation for “women’s work” involving caretaking, childcare, or even teaching (essential roles in our society, yet lacking compensation commensurate with these responsibilities).

• Caretaking is an undervalued resource; unsurprisingly, health care and social assistance industries exhibit the greatest pay gap. Although women comprise 77% of workers in these fields, they earn an average of 43 cents on the dollar, when compared to men.

• Women make up two-thirds of the low-wage workforce in the US. And even though women are more likely to graduate from college or earn a graduate degree, they are paid less than men. In fact, women with graduate degrees receive an average of 25% less per hour than men with college degrees. Women who are top earners at the 90th percentile earn 22.6% less than men who are also at the 90th percentile.

• Women endure the “motherhood penalty” and earn less than what fathers typically earn. They are more likely to assume child raising responsibilities, and to remain at home, leave the workforce, or sacrifice opportunities for advancement. Women’s participation in the workforce increased during the Pandemic with work-from-home opportunities. However, recent return-to-office mandates are creating an impossible choice for many working mothers, claims professor and journalist Joanne Lipman; they effectively juggled childcare with work, but are now being laid off or feel compelled to quit their jobs.

• It is no surprise that women of color have it worse. Even when factors such as age, education, and geographic location are considered Black women earn 64% and Hispanic women received 57% of what white men earn. In a review of management roles, female Native Hawaiian or Other Pacific Islander managers received 51 cents for every dollar white male managers received.

• There is a “wealth gap,” where a woman’s net worth in the US is less than half of what a man acquires. According to a report from the AAUW, a single woman accrues only 32 cents for each dollar a single man accumulates. Women account for almost two-thirds of student debt, and have a harder time paying it off due to fewer financial resources. Disparities in accumulated wealth also follow women into retirement, with retirement income only 70% of what men have acquired.

A persistent and disturbing trend

Despite some progress over the last forty years, and a higher percentage of women now completing college and advanced degrees, women face barriers in the workforce, including discrimination, lower pay, and competing messages about leadership abilities. In fact, a Pew Research Center survey found that 42% of women reported discrimination on the job, such as earning less and feeling they were viewed as less competent.

It is difficult for women to attain leadership positions when they face mixed messages about the qualities companies value. Leadership abilities are typically viewed as masculine traits, and traditionally feminine traits, such as collaboration and cooperation, are disparaged. Yet women face a double bind, since adopting traditionally masculine traits draws even more criticism; they may be viewed as weak if they emphasize collaboration, but criticized as bitchy or bossy when they assert their opinions.

Barriers to career advancement

Barriers that impact women’s careers are outlined in a white paper from diversity and inclusion expert Sharon Peake, and include the following:

1. Structural barriers

Women suffer from a relative absence of role models, mentors in their field, or networks of peers for connection and professional guidance. Professional women who are parents may feel compelled to turn down opportunities for advancement that disrupt crucial time with family. The “second shift,” where women assume responsibility for domestic and childcare tasks, contributes to guilt and exhaustion. Many claim they cannot count on their male spouse to contribute equally with childcare, and are also less likely to expect a male spouse to move if their job requires relocation. While flexible hours and part-time work are sometimes available, women who request these options are often blacklisted from career advancement opportunities.

2. Cultural barriers

Gender stereotypes are pervasive. “Men are perceived to be slightly more capable at most tasks than women,” says Peake, “except for tasks traditionally associated with men, such as mechanical expertise, mathematical ability and leadership, where men are generally perceived to be much more capable.” Children as young as six assume that boys are more intelligent and that girls are valued for being “nice.” Peake describes how women face cultural messages that interfere with climbing the corporate ladder. Discrimination in the workplace still exists, as two-thirds of women report incidents of sexism. Sometimes these behaviors are overt, but other times discrimination stems from lower expectations; their suggestions are readily dismissed, their competence challenged, their authority to implement a strategy is thwarted.

3. Personal barriers

Peake points out that women often hold a more conservative (or realistic) view of their capabilities and are not as overconfident as men. As a result, they may be less likely to promote their work and advocate for themselves. Peake suggests that women are just as ambitious as men, but their expectations are tempered over time due to skepticism, negative experiences, and a lack of support for achieving their goals. Women are very capable when negotiating for a colleague, but less effective when advocating for their own goals, as self-promotion challenges stereotypical gender norms. However, women who assert themselves (and refuse to conform with gender expectations) suffer a “likability penalty” and are rated more negatively by supervisors. “Men’s likeability is positively correlated with success, whereas for women it is hard to be seen as both competent and likable at the same time.”

What women want

In addition to the obvious desire for equal pay and a workplace culture that renounces discrimination, women often long for a more balanced lifestyle. “More than three quarters of women value a work environment that offers flexibility, autonomy, and the ability to make a difference more than salary,” reports economist and author, Sylvia Ann Hewlett and her colleague, Melinda Marshall.

Like men, Hewlett and Marshall claim that women also want to be challenged intellectually, acquire expertise, have a lasting impact, and gain financial independence. However, men “are clear-sighted about the importance of power and sustain their interest in going after it. Women start their careers hungry to attain a powerful job, but lose their appetite as they age.” Women want to have “agency and impact” and want to self-actualize, but they also strive for a balanced life, health, and well-being.

Hewlett and Marshall point out that a distaste for power holds women back. “They perceive the burdens of leadership outweighing the benefits, when in fact power, our data reveals, is what allows women to thrive and flourish. In all geographies, women with power enjoy the ability to reach for meaning and purpose, to empower others, and be empowered far more than women without power expect.”

Peake, along with Hewlett and Marshall, emphasize the importance of an attitudinal shift — personally, societally, and in the workplace. Women would benefit from:

• Exposure to female role models who achieve at a high level, but also find work-life balance and maintain a rewarding connection to others

• Accessing mentors and sponsors who will encourage and promote them as they advance

• A culture that offers flexible work arrangements without penalty

• Workplace expectations that advance equity and inclusion and penalize discriminatory practices

• Encouragement during childhood to pursue an education in male-dominated fields, such as technology and engineering, especially if these fields are portrayed as mechanisms for making a difference in the world

• Inclusion of men in the equation, where they also participate in finding solutions (as exemplified in the United Nations’ HeforShe campaign)

The AAUW recommends improvements in state and federal laws and a commitment from employers to enact equitable hiring, advancement, and wage policies; however, they also ask women to step up to the plate: “Women individually need to advocate for themselves: They need to negotiate for the best possible pay and benefits and pursue higher-paying jobs, promotions and leadership opportunities.”

Discrimination affects all of us

Discrimination exists in many forms; both men and women suffer stigma due to their race, ethnicity, culture, religion, sexual orientation, immigrant status, disability, or even their body size.

Women’s struggles to achieve respect, an equitable wage, and support for their aspirations and goals affect men as well. Men, of course, are exposed to women caregivers from an early age. They learn to appreciate (or to devalue) women based on what they personally experience and the societal/cultural values they learn. Men become spouses and fathers; they are impacted when their wives earn less, leave their careers, or find work-life balance elusive. They feel anguish when their daughters are unfairly treated or doubt their own capabilities. Fortunately, many men refuse to participate in discriminatory practices, regardless of normative workplace expectations.

Now, in the Trump administration, there are proposed changes that will negatively affect women — everything from the elimination of Title IX sports opportunities to the federal dismantling of DEIA (diversity, equity, inclusion, and accessibility) initiatives that welcome women into traditionally male jobs to the limited access to reproductive health services in some U.S. states and especially in rural areas. The SAVE Act proposes that women who took their partner’s name in marriage will face barriers to voting; in fact, a version of the SAVE Act is already active in New Hampshire, limiting women’s access to voting in a recent election. And of course, reductions in Medicaid spending, access to student loans, elimination of special education or early childhood education programs, and increased prices on consumer goods hurt underserved women and their families the most.

In recognition of National Women’s History Month, let’s consider how these barriers to equity have evolved, continue to pervade our society, and directly impact half of the population. Discrepancies in wages, discrimination in hiring and career advancement, barriers to leadership positions, and cultural impediments, such as lack of support for working mothers, are particularly egregious. Cultural, societal, and industry-wide influences will persist until we notice, challenge, and refuse to accept these barriers. While these problems might seem insurmountable, we can begin with a recognition of our role in advancing or impeding progress in our small segment of the world.

Please share your thoughts, opinions, or experiences about women’s role in society.

A similar version of this article was published on Medium in March, 2024.