The hard part is that for many self identified 2e+ folks, that's the only accessible way (self directed "diagnosis") to seek any support peer or otherwise, that's non patholgising... and so many of us are desperate for things to make sense. It takes a lot of energy and effort to keep digging and discerning who's selling snake oil and easy fixes under the guise of helping...
The lack of cohesion and accountability dilutes the real need for community and support, so yes, this post is on point for what to look out for.
Thank you for your thoughts, Bee. I get it and I am so sorry to hear that this has been your (and many others') experience. There is a lot out of uncertainty and nuance about neurodivergence, which is an evolving and complex field, and many folks feel unseen and misunderstood. And each person is unique, making it even more complicated. All of this requires ongoing learning, humility on the part of the professional or educator, and a willingness to understand each child or adult through the lens of their uniqueness. We've got our work cut out for us!
Thanks for taking the time to write about this, Gail. You clearly state that peer support is valuable. You very carefully point out the importance of being selective and discriminating when seeking guidance/advice from "experts" or "professionals." It seems to me, your suggestions actually apply to many fields, not only the gifted education/mental health realm. I don't see how what you're saying would be controversial! It is well thought out and important.
Thank you so much, Paula. I completely agree that this applies to so many fields out there. Sometimes it's the loudest voice or the squeaky wheel that gets noticed. And in an era right now where just about anyone can say anything, all bets are off. So it seems essential that vulnerable families find the right fit and pursue a range of options to support themselves and their children.
Thank you for expressing this, with all its complexity and nuance. I’ve wanted to express the same for a while and you’ve done it better than I could have. This context is needed so individuals and families can find continually improving and better ways to get meaningful support.
Thank you so much, Eric. I appreciate that you have similar thoughts about this. Finding support is complicated for many people, and it is often hard to find someone who is available. I agree that having a context for the support is so essential.
It’s funny, I volunteered to run a middle school book club for Big Brothers Big Sisters this year, and I expected that I was going to work with some hard cases, kids who really needed some helping support. What I got instead was a group of closet geniuses, kids who are intensely bright and already thinking downstream toward college! I’ve raised my brilliant kids; they’re killing it. But I wonder what I can do, as a once-a-week volunteer, to help these kids not keep their light under a bushel? Here’s another way of asking this question: this essay is for parents, but what can other adults in the lives of gifted kids do?
Great question! There is a lot information out there now about overlooked gifted children and how schools and policy change can support them. Many of the efforts in cities like NYC and San Francisco that eliminate any form of ability group or gifted education hurt the bright kids who need to be supported and challenged academically. They don't have parents who can pay for private school. So they are left to their own devices, sadly.
If you have any additional interest in this, feel free to scan through my blog, www.giftedchallenges.blogspot.com, or check out the National Association for Gifted Children www.nagc.com, where there are lots of research-backed articles about the "excellence gap" and the neglect of gifted children from impoverished backgrounds.
It is wonderful, Tom, that you are volunteering and can hopefully guide and support these kids who so desperately need it!
Oh my, Gail, there are so many layers of professionalism and communication going on. You have the licensed psychologist base covered so allow me to point out a few other areas I've observed in the past 40 years. Each time I see an online course, I wonder, where did they get their degree in teacher education or curriculum design? Each time I see someone use the word coach, I wonder, again, where did they get their training, credentials, mentoring (residency), and who exactly is the accreditation body that rechecks them every three years? I'll stop here. I probably have enough for a book. Instead, I prefer to write on Substack and connect with professionals who have experiences similar to mine and appreciate some wisdom--not advice, for their next project.
Georgia, I completely agree and resonate with your skepticism and diligence with scrutinizing claims of expertise. Thank you so much for your feedback and observations.
Thank you! I was just speaking with with my friend about this concern yesterday. We talked about our fellow-parent support role; listening, sharing resources we’ve benefited from, heard about through trusted colleagues and friends - the layers of accessing help gets deep fast! Ideally we are sharing our raft - not attracting the sharks.
Well, yes, you’re prepared for pushback for a good reason.
It’s important to recognize that expertise comes in many forms. While degrees and certifications are valuable, lived experience holds a unique and often underappreciated depth of knowledge, especially when it comes to parenting neurodiverse or profoundly gifted children. It’s not about one replacing the other, but about creating space for both in conversations around education, advocacy, and support.
Many of us have encountered families lost in a system that doesn’t understand their child. Often, it’s not the professionals with the titles who step in to guide them, but others who’ve been there. Those who choose to share their insights and create spaces for connection, learning, and coaching deserve respect for the time and emotional energy they dedicate to this work.
We’re living in a new era where expertise isn’t confined to institutions. The model has shifted. People can build careers based on what they’ve learned, experienced, and proven through real-world practice. Influencers, consultants, coaches, and advocates all operate within this new space, and yes, they’re compensated for their time, energy, and knowledge and should be. That’s not exploitation; it’s a recognition of value.
It’s also worth noting that parents and caregivers often trust lived experience more than clinical advice alone, precisely because it feels relatable and actionable. Families need support from all directions, whether that comes from a licensed professional or a mentor who has been through it themselves.
Gatekeeping the definition of expert can be damaging. There’s a place for clinical expertise and real-world experience. Many parents and advocates wouldn’t be where they are today without the insights of someone who has walked a similar path.
Professionals in gifted education can and should be part of the solution. But let’s not lose sight of the value of community-driven support from those who’ve lived it. There’s room for everyone to contribute meaningfully without invalidating the experience and wisdom of others. This just looks petty.
Michelle, Thank you for your detailed response. As I mentioned in my article, I completely agree with you that peer support is absolutely essential. I have lived it. I recommend it to my clients all the time. I have written widely and have spoken about this for the past 12 years.
My experience raising gifted children informs my perspective; however, when I am enlisted to provide guidance, I have the foundation of professional training and experience. I am not just offering the advice I might give to a friend or colleague.
My concern is that when people untrained in either mental health or education fields hang out their shingle as an "expert" and charge vulnerable others for their advice solely based on their personal experience, there can be inadvertent deception. It leaves the consumer vulnerable to misinformation and ill-informed guidance. This differs from peer support, where there is an understanding that shared information is based on personal experience.
In my clinical practice, I have seen way too many people who have been misled and at times, traumatized when coaches or others without training have misled them. I wrote this article to raise awareness for anyone seeking guidance to be alert when untrained armchair experts present themselves as qualified.
Gail, I appreciate your thoughtful reply and the opportunity to engage in this conversation. I completely understand your concern about ensuring that families seeking guidance receive accurate, ethical support. It’s a valid point — no one wants to see vulnerable people misled or harmed by poor advice.
That said, the landscape of expertise has evolved. People are seeking out support from those who’ve walked the same path and lived the experience, particularly when traditional systems have failed them. Lived experience doesn’t replace clinical expertise, but it holds significant value in its own right. The distinction is no longer as clear-cut as it once was.
This isn’t about someone casually offering advice at the dinner table. It’s about individuals who have invested years into learning and honing their craft, often with extensive research, community engagement, and practical application. Often reading the same, even more current research than a lot of PhDs. That knowledge is worth something, and it’s fair for people to be compensated for their time and insights.
The assumption that consumers can’t distinguish between peer support and clinical guidance feels outdated. People are savvy, especially in the gifted community. Most parents I know approach these resources with discernment, knowing when they need a therapist, a coach, or someone who simply gets it.
Ultimately, there’s room for both. Families benefit from a mix of professional expertise and lived experience. We all want the same thing: to help families navigate a complex, often isolating journey. Let’s support each other in that shared mission, rather than drawing lines about who is “allowed” to help.
The hard part is that for many self identified 2e+ folks, that's the only accessible way (self directed "diagnosis") to seek any support peer or otherwise, that's non patholgising... and so many of us are desperate for things to make sense. It takes a lot of energy and effort to keep digging and discerning who's selling snake oil and easy fixes under the guise of helping...
The lack of cohesion and accountability dilutes the real need for community and support, so yes, this post is on point for what to look out for.
Thank you for your thoughts, Bee. I get it and I am so sorry to hear that this has been your (and many others') experience. There is a lot out of uncertainty and nuance about neurodivergence, which is an evolving and complex field, and many folks feel unseen and misunderstood. And each person is unique, making it even more complicated. All of this requires ongoing learning, humility on the part of the professional or educator, and a willingness to understand each child or adult through the lens of their uniqueness. We've got our work cut out for us!
Thanks for keeping at it as a professional 💪🏼 gives me hope that folks younger than me won't have to work so hard for support!
And as a human 🤣 you're doing a great job 💞
Thanks for taking the time to write about this, Gail. You clearly state that peer support is valuable. You very carefully point out the importance of being selective and discriminating when seeking guidance/advice from "experts" or "professionals." It seems to me, your suggestions actually apply to many fields, not only the gifted education/mental health realm. I don't see how what you're saying would be controversial! It is well thought out and important.
Thank you so much, Paula. I completely agree that this applies to so many fields out there. Sometimes it's the loudest voice or the squeaky wheel that gets noticed. And in an era right now where just about anyone can say anything, all bets are off. So it seems essential that vulnerable families find the right fit and pursue a range of options to support themselves and their children.
Thank you for expressing this, with all its complexity and nuance. I’ve wanted to express the same for a while and you’ve done it better than I could have. This context is needed so individuals and families can find continually improving and better ways to get meaningful support.
Thank you so much, Eric. I appreciate that you have similar thoughts about this. Finding support is complicated for many people, and it is often hard to find someone who is available. I agree that having a context for the support is so essential.
It’s funny, I volunteered to run a middle school book club for Big Brothers Big Sisters this year, and I expected that I was going to work with some hard cases, kids who really needed some helping support. What I got instead was a group of closet geniuses, kids who are intensely bright and already thinking downstream toward college! I’ve raised my brilliant kids; they’re killing it. But I wonder what I can do, as a once-a-week volunteer, to help these kids not keep their light under a bushel? Here’s another way of asking this question: this essay is for parents, but what can other adults in the lives of gifted kids do?
Great question! There is a lot information out there now about overlooked gifted children and how schools and policy change can support them. Many of the efforts in cities like NYC and San Francisco that eliminate any form of ability group or gifted education hurt the bright kids who need to be supported and challenged academically. They don't have parents who can pay for private school. So they are left to their own devices, sadly.
If you have any additional interest in this, feel free to scan through my blog, www.giftedchallenges.blogspot.com, or check out the National Association for Gifted Children www.nagc.com, where there are lots of research-backed articles about the "excellence gap" and the neglect of gifted children from impoverished backgrounds.
It is wonderful, Tom, that you are volunteering and can hopefully guide and support these kids who so desperately need it!
Thanks for this reply. I’ll look into it and may get back to you with more questions.
Oh my, Gail, there are so many layers of professionalism and communication going on. You have the licensed psychologist base covered so allow me to point out a few other areas I've observed in the past 40 years. Each time I see an online course, I wonder, where did they get their degree in teacher education or curriculum design? Each time I see someone use the word coach, I wonder, again, where did they get their training, credentials, mentoring (residency), and who exactly is the accreditation body that rechecks them every three years? I'll stop here. I probably have enough for a book. Instead, I prefer to write on Substack and connect with professionals who have experiences similar to mine and appreciate some wisdom--not advice, for their next project.
Georgia, I completely agree and resonate with your skepticism and diligence with scrutinizing claims of expertise. Thank you so much for your feedback and observations.
Thank you! I was just speaking with with my friend about this concern yesterday. We talked about our fellow-parent support role; listening, sharing resources we’ve benefited from, heard about through trusted colleagues and friends - the layers of accessing help gets deep fast! Ideally we are sharing our raft - not attracting the sharks.
Thank you, Kim. Sounds like you're doing great work!
Good morning! Thank you for the social psychology perspective.
Well, yes, you’re prepared for pushback for a good reason.
It’s important to recognize that expertise comes in many forms. While degrees and certifications are valuable, lived experience holds a unique and often underappreciated depth of knowledge, especially when it comes to parenting neurodiverse or profoundly gifted children. It’s not about one replacing the other, but about creating space for both in conversations around education, advocacy, and support.
Many of us have encountered families lost in a system that doesn’t understand their child. Often, it’s not the professionals with the titles who step in to guide them, but others who’ve been there. Those who choose to share their insights and create spaces for connection, learning, and coaching deserve respect for the time and emotional energy they dedicate to this work.
We’re living in a new era where expertise isn’t confined to institutions. The model has shifted. People can build careers based on what they’ve learned, experienced, and proven through real-world practice. Influencers, consultants, coaches, and advocates all operate within this new space, and yes, they’re compensated for their time, energy, and knowledge and should be. That’s not exploitation; it’s a recognition of value.
It’s also worth noting that parents and caregivers often trust lived experience more than clinical advice alone, precisely because it feels relatable and actionable. Families need support from all directions, whether that comes from a licensed professional or a mentor who has been through it themselves.
Gatekeeping the definition of expert can be damaging. There’s a place for clinical expertise and real-world experience. Many parents and advocates wouldn’t be where they are today without the insights of someone who has walked a similar path.
Professionals in gifted education can and should be part of the solution. But let’s not lose sight of the value of community-driven support from those who’ve lived it. There’s room for everyone to contribute meaningfully without invalidating the experience and wisdom of others. This just looks petty.
Michelle, Thank you for your detailed response. As I mentioned in my article, I completely agree with you that peer support is absolutely essential. I have lived it. I recommend it to my clients all the time. I have written widely and have spoken about this for the past 12 years.
My experience raising gifted children informs my perspective; however, when I am enlisted to provide guidance, I have the foundation of professional training and experience. I am not just offering the advice I might give to a friend or colleague.
My concern is that when people untrained in either mental health or education fields hang out their shingle as an "expert" and charge vulnerable others for their advice solely based on their personal experience, there can be inadvertent deception. It leaves the consumer vulnerable to misinformation and ill-informed guidance. This differs from peer support, where there is an understanding that shared information is based on personal experience.
In my clinical practice, I have seen way too many people who have been misled and at times, traumatized when coaches or others without training have misled them. I wrote this article to raise awareness for anyone seeking guidance to be alert when untrained armchair experts present themselves as qualified.
Gail, I appreciate your thoughtful reply and the opportunity to engage in this conversation. I completely understand your concern about ensuring that families seeking guidance receive accurate, ethical support. It’s a valid point — no one wants to see vulnerable people misled or harmed by poor advice.
That said, the landscape of expertise has evolved. People are seeking out support from those who’ve walked the same path and lived the experience, particularly when traditional systems have failed them. Lived experience doesn’t replace clinical expertise, but it holds significant value in its own right. The distinction is no longer as clear-cut as it once was.
This isn’t about someone casually offering advice at the dinner table. It’s about individuals who have invested years into learning and honing their craft, often with extensive research, community engagement, and practical application. Often reading the same, even more current research than a lot of PhDs. That knowledge is worth something, and it’s fair for people to be compensated for their time and insights.
The assumption that consumers can’t distinguish between peer support and clinical guidance feels outdated. People are savvy, especially in the gifted community. Most parents I know approach these resources with discernment, knowing when they need a therapist, a coach, or someone who simply gets it.
Ultimately, there’s room for both. Families benefit from a mix of professional expertise and lived experience. We all want the same thing: to help families navigate a complex, often isolating journey. Let’s support each other in that shared mission, rather than drawing lines about who is “allowed” to help.
Thanks, Michelle. Yes, completely agree that we all want the same thing... to help families!